I was in a weird place for sure. Aged 22, I was unable to go to the toilet by myself, was too weak to walk and had so many blood tests that the Phlebotomist was now considering drawing blood from my feet (my veins on my arms were collapsing from so many needles). At this point, in the span of two days I had probably seen four different doctors. This time a new doctor came in to see me. Like Gollum and his precious ring, I was not going to let this opportunity go! I explained that I had only just found out that I was being treated for Sepsis. He was confused as to why I had not been told, and put it down to treating the severity of the illness ASAP.
He then went onto explain that given everything so far, I needed to have an ultrasound done as they suspected the stomach was the cause for the infection. Before I was hospitalized, I had explosive diarrhea (sorry, not sorry) and vomiting, so this made some sense to me. He then left, saying he couldn’t really say more until the ultrasound results came in. My nurse readied my wheelchair while I put on my swaggy poo emoji slippers. It felt so weird leaving my little sick prison cell, I could actually see the outside world through the WINDOWS! Oh how I missed you my sweet, sweet windows *sheds a tear* :’(. I jokily asked my nurse if she could push me faster, and she actually humored me! I have to say throughout this experience, the nurses were the most nicest I have ever come across 🙂 The ultrasound involved being on an empty stomach, which wasn’t hard, as I still couldn’t eat food 😦 What I would have given to even have a bite of a doughnut! Now that I think of it, it is probably a bit shameful when I think of what I would have given for a doughnut…
Anyway! A cold jelly lube was placed on my stomach with the specialist sliding the wand (transducer) all over my stomach. I was nervous for some reason, and blurted out if she could see how far along my food baby was *face palm*. She seemed to find this really funny and laughed at me for a few minutes before telling me I could go back. I didn’t want the return journey to end! It was so nice seeing natural light, as opposed to the artificial yellow I had been seeing for the past two days. It was also nice just seeing other people! I had really gotten used to just being by myself in my room (how did I do this as a teenager?!)
Upon returning, a nurse suggested I should try eating solids. Up until now, I had been living on sugar lube tubes and these weird strawberry drinks. The only way I can describe the taste is children’s Calpol mixed with gelatin and a LOT of sugar. Nine times out of ten, I would often throw up the drink so I don’t know if I could count it as being in my stomach. The nurse bought me some porridge, and after two spoons, you guessed it! My body threw it back out. She then suggested I take some anti-sickness medication through the cannula so that I could attempt eating later on. I watched as she slowly injected my cannula with the medication.
Now this is where it gets weird. After she left the room, I can only explain it as the feeling that I couldn’t breathe. It felt like someone was squeezing my lungs and my heart at the same time. I remember becoming very aware of my heart beat, almost like it was going to bounce out of my chest. I buzzed the nurse and through staggered breaths told her I was struggling to breathe. I had honestly felt nothing like it, and I hope to never feel that way again! She quickly did an ECG and found my heart rate had increased AGAIN and my body was reacting badly to the medication. The nurse then explained that this is one of the side effects of the anti-sickness and that the sick feeling would pass.
After the sickness started to wear off *well as much as it could*, my Mum came to visit with a card from my workplace. Everyone had signed it and wished me a speedy recovery, which was lovely. Except, when I was reading the messages, I couldn’t remember a face to match the co-worker’s name. I would try and visualize the person by closing my eyes, but nothing. It turns out, excessive low blood pressure and being as sick as I was can lead to memory impairment (as if I wasn’t forgetful enough already). When I think of it, I also can’t remember the nurses names, or any of the doctors!
I found myself feeling like a sick Alice, except my Wonderland was made of scans, vomiting, nurses and injections that make you forget everything.
Part 5 to come!