I am just going to insert a picture of how I felt when I woke up:
I feel like that just pretty much sums it up. Enough said. In fact, I don’t think I can even say ‘woke up’. Allow me to explain…
So, I remember being asleep for a short while, but I was woken up by one of the nurses doing the standard every half an hour check (temperature, blood pressure etc.). After she left the room I closed my eyes trying to go back to sleep. But, weirdly enough, every time I closed my eyes I was seeing things! When I say things, I mean a series of fast uncontrollable set of images. One second I could see myself floating in space, and in the next second I was magically a drop of water in the ocean reflecting sunlight. I pretty much felt like I was on the boat from the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, seeing all kinds of weird things that didn’t make sense.
These images within my mind would move so fast, I actually felt nauseous and threw up. It turns out my temperature was high again, which could have lead to the weird hallucinations I was having. I buzzed in a nurse to tell her what was happening, and she decided to sit with me for most of the night, where we had some banter and she told me a bit about herself! It was nice to just have a conversation with someone, and for a short while I forgot where I was.
After my nurse buddy left, I finally had a nap for an hour or two. I was woken up by yet another blood test, and some uncontrollable shivers. I told the nurse I was sick of shivering, and she casually replied ‘Yeah that’s pretty common with Sepsis’. I asked her if that was what I was being treated for, and her eyes widened when she asked ‘Did no-one tell you this?!’. I told her I had been in treatment for two days, having seen a couple of different doctors and no-one had actually explained what was wrong with me. The reason for her shocked reaction was nurses are not allowed to tell you what you’re being treated for. In this case, I was grateful to finally know something at least!
I then decided to consult the all knowing source of EVERYTHING- Doctor Google! I probably shouldn’t have done this, but I wasn’t going to wait a few more days for a nurse to accidentally let me know there may be more wrong with me. So pulling up the results for the trusty NHS site, the first sentence I read was ‘Without quick treatment, sepsis can lead to multiple organ failure and death’ Oh, great. It was all making sense now, the reason for the constant checks and the concern for my kidneys. I scrolled down to the treatment section and it basically said if caught in time antibiotics are enough to treat someone who is Septic. I can only describe a weird feeling of not caring and disbelief. I had never heard of Sepsis until now, nor had I realized how serious it was.
I told my Mum that I had Sepsis once she arrived, and she also consulted Doctor Google. After reading more about it, she began to cry. I was still in a weird sick limbo at this point. I just remember gritting my teeth and thinking- ‘this is my situation, and I will come out of it’. I’m a bit weird, I spent this time being incredibly sick, but just as jokey with everyone I saw. I think, well, I KNOW humour is my way of coping.
Part Four to come!